Bad Mommy

The dermatologist made me regress into some seriously childish behavior the other day, but I’m going to stand my ground and insist that he dug his own grave, so to speak. I didn’t go into his office intending to steal samples (although I probably would have snuck off with a couple) but he drove me to it since it was the only kind of revenge that was realistically available to me.

I made an appointment because my children are making my hair fall out and I needed to know what to do. I begged for the first appointment I could get, which wasn’t for a while because dermatologists are quite busy. Hair loss is stressful (I really do feel for men) and I desperately wanted to start whatever treatment I could as quickly as possible.

I had to bring my children with me for the following reasons:

· I can’t leave them in the house alone because they are 1 and 3 and can’t operate the remote control by themselves.

· I also can’t leave them in the car while I’m at the appointment because people tend to call the cops if you do this.

· My husband has a paying job (which I do not) and evidently they expect him to show up regularly so he can’t take time off every time I have an errand to do.

· If I hire a babysitter, it is going to cost me between $7 and $10 an hour, so with the copayment at the doctor’s office, it could easily cost me upwards of $40 to go to one doctor's appointment. As I mentioned before, I don’t have a paying job right now.

· I have family members but they have jobs and school and lives and aren’t always available to watch my children at my convenience.

It’s funny that I feel obligated to explain why I have to bring my children anywhere with me. They’re children – they are supposed to be with their parents some of the time. But, when you show up at a doctor’s appointment, a restaurant, or, honestly, just about anywhere with them, you will get subtle glares from the staff as if you brought an active case of the plague into the room.

I showed up on time with the children and I bought plenty of stuff to entertain them with so they were well-behaved in the waiting room. They didn’t yell, scream or run around like heathens. We were shown into a waiting room and they managed to keep it together for a good while longer. After about 20 (!) minutes of waiting, a nurse came in to tell me the doctor had decided to do a quick surgery (is there any such thing?) and it would be just a smidge longer.

I’m sure you’ve been there. My son, who was almost four at the time, kept it together pretty well. However, my daughter, who is 1.5 got bored and started to whine and start trouble. She really wanted to rummage through the doctor’s cabinets, but I didn’t let her. Finally, I gave her a granola bar which kept her busy for the extra 20 minutes it took for the doctor to show.

When the doctor finally arrived, he glared at the children, especially my daughter with the offending granola bar. He then turned to his nurse and said, “THAT,” pointing at a crumb “will need to be cleaned. I want all of that off the floor.”  I apologized profusely, of course, and indicated that I had every intention of cleaning it myself, but my little girl was bored and I was trying to distract her so that she wouldn’t wreck the exam room. The doctor gave me a cold look and proceeded with the exam. It made me wonder if he had children and if so, did his wife do all the work? Had he forgotten what a chore it is to manage them when they’re tiny? Did he remember how bored they get when a doctor keeps you waiting for nearly an hour after your appointment time?

Sigh. I hate feeling like a murderer for letting me children out in public. Of course, I cleaned up the crumbs my daughter left. I know the nurse didn’t go to college so she could clean up my daughter’s crumbs. I wouldn’t have fed her the damn thing if my appointment time was even close to honored. But, no, I had to sit there waiting because you can’t get an appointment time with a dermatologist in under six weeks.

However, I was not a hopeless victim. It was a dermatologists office. When I was packing up to leave, I saw the Aveeno samples and I helped myself very liberally to an entire box of them. I have to say I really like some of their new lotions and I’ve even given a few out to friends. If you come by soon, I may still have some left.

 

Comments

[Karlin Clayton]

Why is it that children are seemingly only "allowed" in grocery stores and fast food joints? The only dr appt I refused to take my son to involved checking for dilation and effacement. I thought he might be scarred for life.

[Christa Palmer]

Or you would have been scarred for life by the questions you got.