There’s a lot of pressure out there to be a perfect parent. I think it’s worth noting, especially for the sake of new parents’ sanity, that we all fall short sometimes. There is a secret shame we all hide away and don’t discuss publicly – the shame of being a naughty parent.
I will fess up and say I’ve done plenty of naughty things and my record wouldn’t hold up to much scrutiny. I’m always amazed at people who are willing to do reality television, especially if they are parents. Who wants all their parenting dirt shown off to the entire world? In the real world, parents do many, many bad things. Fess up.
Which of the following have you done?
• Handed off the baby to your spouse and pretended you didn’t smell the poopy diaper
• Picked a binky up off a floor you knew was dirty and stuck it in the baby’s mouth anyway because you can’t take the yelling anymore
• Pretended to be asleep in hopes that your spouse will get up with the baby
• Served SpongeBob macaroni and cheese for 3 meals running because you are tired of arguing with your 4 year old
• “Forgot” to sign up to bring snacks to preschool because the Organic Food Brigade is getting on your nerves
• Claimed the show “Wonder Pets” isn’t on anymore
• Blantantly lied to your son about the playground being closed so you wouldn’t have to take him
• Intentionally misexplaining something because you don’t really understand it yourself (for example – where rain comes from. I know water evaporates into clouds but I really don’t understand it further than that)
• Forgetting to put batteries an annoying toy training that keeps screeching a song about animals
• “Accidentally” losing a toy the children constantly fight over
• Teaching the children dirty words to amuse yourself (this is going to backfire big time)
• Told the kids the cable was broken so you wouldn’t have to watch another episode of “Calliou”
• Pretending the kids are sick so you don’t have to attend adult functions
• Putting a dirty shirt on your child and pretending it was clean just moments ago and then “Ooops!” he spilled
What are your naughty parent secrets? I know that you have some.
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